seven

seven years ago, i became a momma.  

i was put on bedrest weeks before ben's birth, so i had a lot of time to do nothing but anticipate his arrival.  we were ready.

my c-section was scheduled for 4:30 p.m. on april 8, 2008.

we didn't have to be at the hospital until 2 p.m. and i wasn't allowed to eat due to my impending surgery, so we just hung out.  we made some nervous small talk.  we watched tv.  we tried to nap.  ha!  the house was silent.  we joke now that we should have recorded the silence since it was the last time we ever truly heard any.

on the operating table, we were all making guesses at how much ben would weigh.

he came out a whopping nine pounds and eight ounces.

he was giant and crying and i was so fixated on his nose!  whose nose was that???

i couldn't stop staring at him.

and i've been admiring him since.

 ben was born big and has stayed big.  he is big in size and big in personality.  his emotions are big (his cries are deafening...no kidding), his expressions are big, his devotion is big, his passion is deep and wide.  he loves big and has taught me to do the same.

 he falls in love with one thing and loves it with all of his heart until he outgrows it: elmo, elephants, dinosaurs, gorillas, thomas the train, ninja turtles, star wars, minecraft.

 he is devoted to his daddy like no other.  they have a special relationship and have been buddies since his birth (for better and for worse).  it is in this relationship that ben experiences all of his big emotions, his highest of highs and his lows, too.

 he has music in his bones.  he loves to dance and drum and beat-box.  he adores the beastie boys and jack white.  my heart broke recently when he suddenly became self-conscious.   i was hoping he would be that kid bustin' a move in a crowd of strangers for at least a little bit longer.

 he has recently discovered the art of joke-telling and really appreciates a good pun.

 he loves babies.

 he makes friends easily.  he talks to strangers.  he likes to talk (and talk and talk).

 i feel like i am going to blink and he'll be a teenager and i'll no longer be able to pin him down for a hug and kiss.  he'll grow up and get in cars and drive places and have girlfriends or boyfriends.  it's happening too fast, friends.  y'all are going to have to hold my hand through it all, o.k.?  all i really want is to sniff his fluffy, baby head.  but for now, i'll just keep on watching and try not to blink.

 happy birthday, ben-jammin'.

thanks for showing me the ropes.

P.S.  here's a picture of my boy on his actual birthday:

ben turns six.
ben turns five.
ben turns four.
ben turns three.