links from chris

here they are, i've hoarded them for long enough.  please pardon the language in some of these.  i had to post anyway because a) they read my mind and b) they are so ding-dang funny.

oh, and clicking on the song/article/photo links will totally be worth it.

xoxo

Illuminated Wonder (@illuminatedwndr)

11/13/12, 12:17 AM

my son always tells me how much he wants to be like me. little does he know, just how much more I want to be like him

	NPR News (@nprnews)
10/20/13, 2:10 PM SEE: Banksy's Month (So Far) In New York City n.pr/1ay8S1R

Mental Floss (@mental_floss)

10/20/13, 8:12 AM

Guy Beringer invented brunch. His inspiration: the hangover — bit.ly/19k1Obl

Photographer Captures New Yorkers Kissing for Past 30 Years

http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/matt-weber-urban-romance

	Rob ElliottBOT™ (@RobElliottComic)
10/1/13, 1:52 PM *Ross walks up to Rachel on her deathbed *Leans in close *Whispers We were on a break...

Casey. (@casey_csaszar)

8/31/13, 5:05 PM

My son just stopped mid meltdown to eat a Cheerio he found stuck to his leg.

Don't trust them, guys. They're just fucking with you.

Dallas Observer (@Dallas_Observer)

9/30/13, 9:23 AM

Finally, we've reached number 1 in the 50 Most Interesting Restaurants in Dallas. The full list is contained within. blogs.dallasobserver.com/cityofate/2013…

	JamBase (@JamBase)
9/26/13, 9:06 AM Start Your Day With A Smile: Watch @jimmyfallon @theroots and members of Sesame Street cast perform Sesame St. theme bit.ly/15vCOdp

	KungPow Turkey (@MacAnnabella)
9/17/13, 7:42 PM How did a pretty girl like you get such a FILTHY mouth? Wanna be friends?!?

Jen McSugarLips (@J_Dazzle76)

1/29/13, 5:33 PM I’m such a dirty, dirty girl sounds better than too lazy to shower.

	bubble girl (@JessObsess)
9/8/13, 8:59 PM Do I like football? Well if you mean drinking beer and playing on my phone while the game is on, then yes, I like football.

Steve Suckington (@SteveSackington)

6/26/13, 8:47 AM

To me, sharing a plate of nachos is just a race to see who can eat the most nachos.

	Floyd (@dafloydsta)
9/7/13, 2:49 PM *Goes to grocery store with 2 small children. *Says "No" 3,217 times. *Dies a slow death and has "No" written on tombstone.

Aristotles (@AristotlesNZ)

9/20/12, 5:06 PM

Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet.

4yo: ..

Me: ..

4yo: ..

Me: ..

4yo: I don't have any other feet..

Me: Fair enough.

Babies Daddy (@dshack8)

8/31/13, 4:35 PM

Not sayin I'm lazy, but if I drop somethin & can't pick it up w/ my feet it'll stay there til 1 of my kids walks by & I can have them get it

	prontopup (@prontopup)
8/27/13, 7:57 AM Glaciers Continents Giant Galapagos Tortoises -Things that move faster than my 5YO in the morning

	Shades of Sarcasm (@SortaSarcastic)
7/16/13, 6:50 AM I sketch... you paint. I splatter... you flow. I write... you compose. I try to be... you are. And still... you treat me as an equal. That.

	A-Now (@HeyANow)
7/25/13, 10:18 AM I am the whitest white girl you will ever meet until a 2Pac song comes on.

	Heath (@DaHess1)
8/8/13, 11:44 AM I'm white but not "think a $70 rubber band on my wrist will make me run faster and lose weight" white.

	Matthew Houck (@Phosphorescent)
8/7/13, 3:48 PM Have you seen the new @Phosphorescent music video for "Ride On/Ride On" that premiered on @mtvU today? Watch it here: bit.ly/19bfQPz

Carbosly (@Carbosly)

8/7/13, 8:26 AM

I've never been sad enough to stop eating.

	Ephie (@goodballs)
3/11/13, 1:10 PM People who say their tickle fights lead to sex are lying. I'm ticklish and when people tickle me I slap them in the face then pee my pants.