being awake

y'all.

this morning is weighing heavy on me.

i handled discipline with crosby in the absolute worst way.

in the past few months, he has been our greatest challenge.

and i try so hard to remember that i once felt this way with ben.  i would cry and worry and make mistakes day in and day out and pray that i didn't completely screw him up.

it's hard to remember because ben is now the easiest behaviorally he ever has been.

but my cros.

he is going through something difficult.  and i hope, hope, hope it's a phase.  it's bringing out the worst in him and the worst in me.

he needs extra love and understanding, that to be honest, i cannot muster on most days.

i love him so much and i just want him to be a happy little boy.

but my well feels dry.

i need to figure out how to refill it, stat.

parenting is such a mindf*$% sometimes, right???

it is the best and most difficult thing i have ever, ever done.

when i got to work, i was convinced that this funk i am in was permanent,

until i read some jim gaffigan quotes about parenthood on facebook.

laughing never fails.

that and remembering that every parent feels this way at one point or another.

even famous ones.

parenthood can often feel really lonely.

thanks, funny man, for reminding me that i am absolutely not alone.

here are some of jim's jewels on his daily gig:

 

On That Cat Steven's Song"The song goes, 'Morning has broken,' and I'm pretty sure my children broke it. Like everything else they break, if they did break it, they'll never admit it."

 

On The Secret To Life"People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They're pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn't it?"

 

On Whether Or Not You're Qualified To Be A Parent"Every night before I get my one hour of sleep, I have the same thought: 'Well, that's a wrap on another day of acting like I know what I'm doing.' I wish I were exaggerating, but I'm not. Most of the time, I feel entirely unqualified to be a parent. I call these times being awake."

 

you can read the rest here.