love, coco: links from chris

here are the latest gems my sweet husband has sent to entertain me. this time i've limited this post to tweets only. he sure has pegged my sense-of-humor (we're samesies). enjoy!

	NoLuckWanted (@NoLuckWanted)
3/2/13, 9:02 AM If you can’t control your woman, you found a good one.

Your Geek is Showing (@urgeekisshowing)

4/2/13, 4:33 PM

One of the saddest days of my life was when I heard that bears sleep for half the year and I realized I had been born the wrong species

Jeremiahde lakitchen (@Goofpoops)

1/19/13, 9:53 AM

Tricks I can do with a skateboard
•look at it
•smell it
•rub the top
•fall off it if I stand on it
•spin the wheels with my fingers
•sell it

Matt McStinkyButt (@Matt_the_1st)

7/16/13, 1:39 AM

Ok. It's late. 5 more beers, and I'm going to bed

	Joel Danger (@joeldanger)
3/29/13, 4:19 PM Women, 2 easy steps to get a guy to fall for you : 1) Be amazing 2) Spend enough time for him to get it. We are slow as shit

	Mikey Steeves (@BlindedByTheMyk)
7/6/13, 10:58 AM Note: pick-up lines sung in a somber falsetto voice don't work, even if you are bearded. I want a refund on this Bon Iver: Dating Tips book.

ryan powers (@rw_powers)

4/29/13, 11:43 AM

40% of divorces stem from $ issues.

40% are caused by infidelity.

The remaining 20% have been linked to IKEA purchases requiring assembly.

Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy)

7/10/13, 7:34 AM

I wish I took a sip of my coffee before I put it down as I'm walking around the house like a zombie trying to figure out where I left it.

Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy)

7/8/13, 5:38 AM

I snuck into my 5 year old's room at 3am to kiss him goodnight and he was up and writing down the questions he wants to ask today.

Mulligan Stewed 10F (@mulliganstewed)

3/30/13, 2:39 PM

As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime.

BubbleGuppieSushi (@Crunch11b)

6/7/13, 11:05 AM

Married Lesson # 17

Putting the wrong clothes in the dryer will get you in more trouble than not doing laundry at all.

Oh My Rob! (@MyHairyLife)

8/27/12, 5:55 AM

Male seahorses get pregnant.

In related news, scientists believe men who tell women what to with their bodies come back as seahorses.

	Not your dream girl (@nettie0918)
12/6/12, 12:31 PM I may not necessarily be able to walk the walk or talk the talk but if you need someone to drink the drink... I'm your girl.

Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn)
6/20/13, 3:59 PM Today I solved a math problem by counting on my fingers in case you wondered how that English degree is working out for me.

Linda in Disguise (@LindaInDisguise)

11/10/12, 8:38 PM

Jealous of women who look sexy as hell with very short hair. I'd look like a Pizza Hut manager named Stuart who needed to drop a few pounds.

brain vomit (@heidi420x)

5/6/13, 3:47 PM

Thanks for the suggestion, serving size. I've had a good laugh and will now make you feel stupid for being so wrong.

	inappropriate mom (@nicfit75)
5/30/13, 8:11 PM I carry around a bag of garbage with me everywhere. But it's leather & I call it a "purse", so it's socially acceptable.